Pygmalion, not Pig Latin. Ixnay on the Sexay and see what art, virtue, and abstinence can do for you…

Pygmalion was a Greek sculptor on the island of Cyprus where a certain cult had formed behind a powerful family that had recently immigrated. This family practiced human sacrifice, and its matriarch led her female followers into prostitution, turning the island’s Temple of Venus Aphrodite into a veritable brothel. Now, this was a terrible affront to Venus, especially as the cult dared say Venus was not even a god at all. But this story is not about them. Neither were they natives to the island at all.

               Dear Pygmalion was a civilized man, a humble artist. Offended by the despicable immorality of these women and their blasphemous scandals, he gave up dating for a few years. He was done with these nasty women and this rich family that corrupted his homeland.

               During this time of abstinence, without a partner in bed, he was able to focus on his art and create a work of art so perfect in its dimensions, that he himself could hardly believe he had made it for it looked more akin to handiwork of Prometheus, the divine creator of humans. Out of ivory came the lifelike form a splendidly beautiful woman. Whether it was the years without sex or the truly perfect realism of the statue, Pygmalion started to fall in love with his ivory model, going so far as to fondle, kiss, and caress it, adore it and even adorn it with dresses and jewels.

               Well, one day during the island’s festival of Venus, good Pygmalion offered a prized cow decked with gold as a sacrifice to his patron goddess, Venus, praying that his love may be turned real.

               Moved by his passion and piety, Venus granted him this wish. So, when Pygmalion returned home, he greeted his ivory maiden with a hug and kiss as usual. He pressed his fingers into the ivory arms of her sculpted beauty and felt the sensation of his fingers sink into soft flesh rather than hard marble. Upon a kiss, she awoke, blushing, half-blinded by the new light now entering her eyes, to see the man who made her, loved her, and gave her life standing before her.

               Their love led them to marry and live happily ever after. Thus, the handsome Pygmalion’s moral virtue, religious honor, and productive energy were rewarded with the love of a lifetime.

Source: Ovid, and D A. Raeburn. Metamorphoses: A New Verse Translation. London: Penguin, 2004. Print.